Monday, August 5, 2013

Aspie Survival tip--Get a support system, AKA an anonymous thank you.

And that support system, though of course NTs  (Neurotypicals) can be wonderfully supportive and helpful, really needs  to have an Aspie in it.  Because though NTs try and love and care, they can't possibly understand our brain.  No slight on them, or on Aspies, but it is what it is what it is.

I have an Aspie friend who is my age, we have known each other a long while.  He is not open about being an Aspie like I am, a decision I respect and on retrospect wish I had done (for various reasons that are for another post).  I am not going to say his name, betray his confidence or his privacy. But he and I, well, sometimes I doubt we would make it through this world without each other to vent to and talk to and pray for and just GET the craziness no one but someone on the Autism spectrum gets.  I'm honestly, truthfully, not trying to offend or put down anyone who tries to support and help me who isn't an Aspie.  I'm not.  I know you guys try.  But just like I don't FULLY get what it is to be, well, an NT, you will never fully get me.  It doesn't mean you don't love us, and we don't love you.  It doesn't mean you don't emphasize or try to understand.  But there will always be that disconnect.

So if you are on the spectrum, find someone else on the spectrum you can trust and talk to.  It makes all the difference in the world. 

I could give a thousand examples of things my friend has said that have brought me some sense of yes, you get it, you GET it, so at least I am not alone in this.  He GETs that I can't just let things slide off my back, though I absolutely know I should.  He gets when a situation so unnerves and upsets me I am sick (sometimes to the point of losing my appetite then getting ill from hunger, or shivering with cold though I am always running hot)  about it for hours or sometimes days on end when no one else even remembers.

I just wanted to share one thing he has said that truly helped me recently:

"Now is the time I am supposed to give you empty platitudes.  But you and I aren't wired that way.  So I will just promise to pray for you"

Those first two sentences were like balm to my soul.  Or, rather, my Aspie brain.  They allowed me to be calm and at peace.  Not because things are better.  But because someone gets it.  Someone gets that saying it will get better doesn't make it so.  And...well, so much more.

So my NT friends, give me those empty platitudes, because they really aren't empty in that you love me and care for me and want the best for me and would, I know, do just about anything for me.  As I would, unquestionably, do for you.

And to my Aspie friend, this is a public thank you for being an Aspie, for having my brain, for helping me and listening and understanding when only an Aspie can.  THANK YOU.  I can't name you publicly but I know you are one of the keys to my sanity.

I'm a lucky girl to have all these people in my life, aren't I?  Please, guys, stick around.  All of you, Aspies and NTs and all.  I'm not sure I could do this without you.

May God's blessings shower on you and maybe spare just a few for me...


No comments:

Post a Comment