Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Random question of the night

OK, here is the situation.  Let's say you have intimate acquaintance with someone and know that they are basically an awful human being.  And let's be honest everyone, awful human beings do exist and we all know at least one. 

AND, let's just say that this person is so good at appearing affable that everyone says well they may have their flaws but they are just so nice, so affable!  

Doesn't that just make your head want to explode?  Don't you want to say no, they are NOT affable!  Look at the actions!  Look at how rude, patronizing, lying, cheating, lazy, passive aggressive, self centered, and selfish this person is!  This person is a horrible human being!  Arg!

Well, I sure as heck do.  It drives me crazy.  It is very, very hard to remain politic.  And sometimes I just can't hold it in.

In other news, I had a bad few hours today with a certain someone. 

And my readers?  You are all awesome of course!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Highlander Clare is not an Aspie

OK, I'm squeezing in one more post before leaving for our Annual Family reunion this Friday.  My love/hate relationship with the family reunion is something I'll post about next week, but first, I want to write about something that has intrigued me quite a bit recently.

To give some background, I, alone with the Erudite Mom, are part of a historical reenactment guild called Saint Andrew's Noble order of the Royal Scots.  What we do is reenact the court of Mary Queen of Scots in 1562, right after she came back from France, when she toured the country in Scotland in an attempt to learn about the people she ruled but had never known.  It's great, great fun, think of the best of Renaissance Faires and Scottish Games all rolled into one.  We are huge history buffs, so this was a natural.  And the garb, OH the garb is so much fun!  The people in the guild are wonderful, and the beer is awesome.

At this point, the person with an average knowledge of Asperger's is probably thinking, how the HECK can an Aspie do this?  It requires being around people all the time, and not just being around them, but communicating and interacting with them.  This hits about every Aspie stress button there is.

I must admit that I had some hesitation when I joined.  But here is the rub--my character in the guild is Highlander Clare MacAndrews, and I along with my mother Jenn are the Queen's royal mead makers and brewers.  The time we are at Faire I am always Clare, immersed completely in the experience.  I live in 1562.  I dress in period appropriate clothes, I speak in the best Faux Renaissance era Scottish accent I can muster, I only use wood and metal and leather, and I carry my tankard on my belt.  

In short, I am not myself.  

And Clare is not an Aspie.

It took me a bit to figure out just how I can pull this off and I finally figured it out--I am ACTING.  Aspies suck at small talk and we can't read people, but tell us exactly what to do, have us play a role, and we are good to go.  I am acting like Clare, I become Clare, and I am fine.  I have my role, my place, and in such a defined setting with defined tasks I am comfortable as can be.

I must admit, it is a wonderful thing indeed to be normal here and again.

God save Her Majesty!

And heck, the rest of us as well. :)

Thursday, May 10, 2012

A month in Europe...or not?

Oh, the difficult decision I face!

The Erudite Mom has long since been planning to be gone in June to spend a few weeks spending the Erudite sister in Hull, do some traveling in England, then swing to Norway for a few days to visit my brother.  I was jealous, sure, but there is always time to travel, I've done my share of traveling, I was in Italy 3 years ago, etc.  And plus, we have animals.  Seven cats, a dog, two turtles, and a bearded dragon.  Someone has to take care of the animals.

THEN, she said she was planning on going to Edinburgh.  And Stonehenge.

Big, fat, whimper.  NOW I want to go.  Badly.  A lot.

I would miss a half marathon and my chance to finish the Tour de Fit series put on by Change of Pace.  And some Guild events.  And now that I think about, Chuck signed up for that race just to do it with me.  I can hardly back out.  But...Edinburgh.

So it must be decided, do I throw financial caution to the winds for such a fabulous trip (though it would be a budget trip due to not having to get hotels or eat in restaurants and having a car in England)?  Does mom find a student we can trust to take care of the animals (the dog can stay with my aunt, that one is easy)?  Should I?

There are worse dilemmas to face. :)

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Musical postscript to today's post.

This song says it best.  Sorry it won't embed...but clicking on a link isn't too hard, right?

The Shelter by Jars of Clay

When I am the sane one....

Something is wrong!

I have a friend deeply struggling right now (please pray for her all you praying types) and I am the one sole rational voice in her life.

And I'm an Aspie.

When I am acting as Highlander Clare in my Historical Reenactment Guild I am able to be with the patrons, talk to them, answer their questions, ad lib, and act, all in character, all without a blip of concern. My mom jokes--Clare isn't an Aspie.

And I'm an Aspie.

I have recently seen by action and been told by other people that I have truly been a force for positive and good in their lives--most especially in the areas of running or otherwise working out and getting fit.  A friend of mine, a new runner, just did her first 10K last weekend (and beat me!!!).  Another friend who has an injured hip nevertheless wants to do her first 5K this fall.  The ladies in the orthodontist office are talking about doing a mud run because I talked about how much I loved mine.

And I'm an Aspie.

And trust me, I AM an Aspie.  Boy oh boy do I have my moments.  This post highlights the worst of my recent moments.  And I have to have things in order, and I still think in patterns and love cycles.  And I can't read body language to save my life.  And my mom still has to nudge me when I talk to much or too loud every once in a while.

But through the grace of God and His power in my life, I have been able to be overcome the diagnosis and simply be.  A runner, a Christian, a friend, a confidante, an encourager.  This poor broken vessel of mine is made perfect by the grace of God, and I feel such joy knowing I've been able to be a force for good, for encouragement, for bringing some of the radiant joy God gives to my life to other people.   I can do it because HE does it through me, because my friends and family uplift and encourage me always, and because I have faith and hope and optimism in this world that so often tries to take all those things away.

So yes, I am an Aspie.  But I am so much more than that.

Praise the Lord!