Sunday, July 29, 2012

Open question

Hey everyone--

Not a post today on anything profound, just a question for all of my Asperger's friends/family members who take care of Aspies:  Are any of you on Social Security disability benefits, or anything similar?  Is Asperger's enough of a diagnosis to get it?

I HATE, hate even thinking about it, but I can't find work, and frankly I am realizing more and more there are so many jobs I can't even apply for for my own mental health and sanity.  I just don't know what to do, so I want to know what YOU do.

Thanks in advance...


Friday, July 20, 2012

Where I draw the line

Hello everyone--

Sorry it has been just over two weeks since my last post, but frankly, I A) have been fairly busy and B) don't have a burning topic in mind when it comes to this whole autism spectrum thing.

But today, oh today was not a good one in the world at large.  I came out of the midnight showing of Dark Knight Rising with my father this morning only to hear about the events in Denver, the tragic, awful shooting that cost the lives of 12 and injured 59, I believe it is, at last count.  I'm just devastated.  All those people lost or injured or permanently scarred by the trauma they witnessed and experienced.  Young people mostly, still in love with their heroes, on dates or hanging with friends, having fun, or older people wanting to feel young again.  Killed by a young man with no particular religious or political reason for doing so (that has come out so far at least), just a pure evil psycho who decided to kill a bunch of people. This is indeed a tragedy.

And today the husband of a friend of mine underwent surgery to remove a brain tumor.  Praise God the surgery went well, they were able to remove 70-90% of it and they say it is between a stage 2-3 sized tumor, which means not lethal yet.  More will be known when the pathology report comes in.  In the meantime,  I am so many of her other friends will be doing what he have been doing since we heard about this last week--praying, praying, praying.

I've had many brutal conversations on FB recently, sparked by the OD death of Sylvester Stallone's son, that I lack compassion, that I am un-Christian, that I don't know what it is like because I haven't been there, because I spoke out quite vehemently about my total and utter lack of sympathy for drug abusers and other people who CHOOSE and ALLOW their addictions to overtake their lives and wreak havoc on those around them.  How their deaths are not tragic, but a result of their choices.  How we need to feel compassion for the victims, not the victimizers.  I have to tell you, I should have let it go, but that dogged Aspie brain won't let me, and it has left me very unsettled.

Now I do believe that the power of the Holy Spirit is strong enough, forgiving enough, and loving enough to forgive even the worst of us--if I didn't believe that, then I wouldn't have my faith--BUT at the end of the day we have to choose to repent and accept that love and forgiveness, and sadly, I have come to the conclusion that many won't.  I pray that they will choose repentance at the moment of judgment, and I can't know what will happen.  But  we have to accept that these truly evil people are going to remain truly evil.  And there ARE truly evil people in this world.  It does no good to pretend that if we just treated people nicer everyone would be nice back and we'd all live in a happy utopia.  The Aurora shooting is only one example that that idea doesn't, and never has, worked, because evil is EVIL.

So, I think of this argument I have been having, and I think of it in light of the shooting in Aurora.  Of brain tumors, of the many fighting diabetes and cancer and grave illnesses. I think of shooting victims and rape victims and people torn apart by violence.

And here I draw the line and make my stand.  I do not care, at all, what circumstances caused you to follow a path of destruction.  I have compassion if you came from a hard background but in no way does that give you any justification or excuse to follow destructive and/or violent and evil behavior.  If you do this, I will pray for your soul, but I don't have any sympathy for you.  Not a drop.  Now if you work to escape, to get clean, to stop acting in violence, then you have my utmost respect and support.  But not if you are one of the many who simply do it because they want to and don't care about anyone else.

And to the victims of both fate and the hands of other people, for you my well of compassion and my prayers well endlessly.  Know we have a God that will be there, even at the darkest of times.  And if you don't believe me, just ask him.  He'll tell you Himself.

God bless you all,


Tuesday, July 3, 2012

God bless the USA

Tomorrow is the Fourth of July.  Tomorrow we celebrate the signing of the Declaration of Independence (and yes, I know it actually took months, but work with me here), and the birth of the United States of America as a sovereign nation.

I present for you here the song Is Anybody there from 1776, a movie which never fails to move me, and a song which never fails to stir my soul.

John Adams, I see what what you saw.  Despite the many, many mistakes and wrong turns America has made during the last 50 years and especially the last 4 that have brought us back to almost the same state you fought against over 230 years ago, I STILL see what you see.  I still have a love for  my country and a belief in what she was once and can be again burning in my heart.  And believe me, as best as I am able, being neither eloquent nor charismatic,  politician nor journalist, I will still fight for this country we both love.  You spoke in your letters of commitment.  I promise you, I am committed.

And shame, SHAME on our politicians for caring more about reelections and spinning the media and campaign money then they do about the citizens they represent and the ideals that formed this country.  FIE on them for forgetting true patriotism, true selflessness.  Our Founding fathers, though surely there was disagreement and acrimony and backstabbing, never, NEVER lost sight of the fact that their goal was to nurture and protect the cause of freedom and liberty in this country, freshly created, unique in all of history.  History should teach us lessons.  I say to all elected officials, it is time to start learning.

So the Erudite Aspie is going to take a few days off to celebrate the birth of the greatest nation on earth. And before I go, please listen to our national anthem.  And if you get teary eyed, well, so do I.  Every single time.

Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro' the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watch'd, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

God bless you all, and God bless the USA.