Tonight, I am going to speak a bit about my personal experience at work. For those that don't know, I have been out of work for 3 months now. I went out on stress leave-stres which had been building for two and half years--and have not yet been allowed to come back. I won't discuss here what has been happening at my workplace that got me to this point, nor will I discuss the shenanigans that have happened in the last three months I haven't been working. First, because it is just too depressing to think about more than I have to, and second, because this post would be the size of a novella if I were to explain it all.
What I want to focus on is the core of my stress--bad management. Specifically, a bad manager that I have had many, many conflicts with and who has created a very hostile work environment not just for me but for pretty much everyone. To rewind and give context for this, I have a friend on facebook who posted this link about mental health and being unemployed versus being in a bad work environment. Contrary to popular belief and opinion, the result of the research is that being in a bad work environment is actually more damaging to mental health than being unemployed.
A few years ago, I would have said that was hogwash. I would have emphasized that any job is better than no job at all, because at least you get a paycheck, it gives you more a sense of accomplishment, you gain or maintain job skills, just to name a few of the benefits. And in fact these are all true in most cases. Unemployment is draining both on the wallet and the psyche. In fact, for those that are unemployed or underemployed, I'd recommend this excellent video for further thoughts on being unemployed and how to make the best of it.
But I was struck by this paragraph of the report on mental health in poor working conditions vis a vis being unemployed:
Managers are especially important to employee well-being, says Robert Hogan, Ph.D., an expert on personality in the workplace and a former chair of the department of psychology at the University of Tulsa. "Bad bosses will make anybody unhappy," Hogan says. "Stress comes from bad managers."
I read this and thought yes, exactly. I am living proof that this is true. There were many causes that led to me going out on stress leave, but most of them fell under the category of sometimes life is just hard and the job is just difficult, and I could have handled. What I couldn't handle is the relentless effort of my direct supervisor and the head of my department to discriminate against me, retaliate against me, lie about me, and in all the little ways they could make my life at work as miserable as possible. That is what took stress over the edge from something manageable to something I could not handle. Sure, I am not getting a paycheck and I am worried how I am going to pay bills. Sure, the uncertainty of my future is in doubt and that uncertainty causes stress. Sure, I find myself striving to find enough productive things to do to fill my day so I don't get apathetic or lose my edge.
But it all would be so, SO much worse if I were at work.
Does this have anything to do with being an Aspie? Maybe. I don't think so, though, as I am sure many others who are perfectly neurotypical have many of the same experiences.
Leave any thoughts in the comments below. As always, I'd love to hear from you!
Have a good day,
EA
I think being an aspie makes it worse for you because you don't understand--except from the inexplicable situation of being the target of it--the sort of spitefulness that leads to workplace bullying (and that's what it is, a person who wouldn't otherwise hold a candle to you is nevertheless in a position of authority over you, and takes full advantage of it). You would never treat someone like that, so you don't recognize it at first (as you didn't, even though I and others warned you that's what was going on). Then, when you accept that it's happening, you're bewildered!
ReplyDeleteSo although other people might have the same thing happen to them, I think your reactions are very aspie.