The pitfalls of being 'High Functioning".

Hello again, my friends, it has been a while.

I know, by now you are all used to me having a great span of time between posts.  I figure, y'all like me anyway.

And on to the topic at hand--I was first going to make this post in two parts.  The first part was going to be from an excellent blog post I read on Rethinking Autism about abolishing functional levels in Autism Spectrum Disorder cases.  The point of the article was that a person who is high functioning one day can be in total Aspie attack meltdown mode the next.  And you never really know what is going on in their heads--good acting skills should not be acquainted with good functioning skills.  Now, it can be said that if you can act past it you can clearly function, and to some extent that is logical.  But the Aspie who seems to handle the most stressful and complicated of situations one day will, the next day or even the next hour, will suddenly completely meltdown.  From high functioning to low functioning in the blink of an eye, because the brain is just not that easily categorized, nor is it particularly consistent.

Sadly, the link to that post seems to be broken.  So trust me that I summarized it well, even eruditely.  

The second part of this is about my experiences with this issue.  I have discovered that the hardest part of being a fairly high functioning Aspie is that people forget you are an Aspie.  This sounds good because it means you are well trained and doing it right, but the danger is that you create a false expectation that you will always be perfect in social situations, that you will always say just the right thing, that you will always be competent and capable.  You see, you are most of the time, so who can blame others for expecting it of you all the time?  The problem is that when you DO fail, when you DO have those moments, those slips of the tongue, those social faux pas, they look at you in horror. How rude, they think.  She shouldn't have had that beer. She said too much.  I thought she was nice, but I guess not.

And I want to scream, I TOLD you I was an Aspie. I warned you this could happen.  Not to avoid responsibility for my actions and I certainly apologize when I need to, but please be a little kinder?  I'm not rude.  I'm a nice person.  But I AM an Aspie.  And sometimes things just slip out of my control.  Because keeping it in control, all the time, is DARN hard.  And takes effort.  It's like trying to juggle 3 balls while having a conversation and watching a movie all at the same time.  Is it any wonder that sometimes the ball drops, no matter how talented the performer?  

And then you ask whether I am creating problems where none exist, but I don't know, do I?  I can't tell these things.  I can't read your face. Remember, I am an Aspie.  

Sigh.  

God bless,

EA

Open question

Hey everyone--

Not a post today on anything profound, just a question for all of my Asperger's friends/family members who take care of Aspies:  Are any of you on Social Security disability benefits, or anything similar?  Is Asperger's enough of a diagnosis to get it?

I HATE, hate even thinking about it, but I can't find work, and frankly I am realizing more and more there are so many jobs I can't even apply for for my own mental health and sanity.  I just don't know what to do, so I want to know what YOU do.

Thanks in advance...

EA

Where I draw the line

Hello everyone--

Sorry it has been just over two weeks since my last post, but frankly, I A) have been fairly busy and B) don't have a burning topic in mind when it comes to this whole autism spectrum thing.

But today, oh today was not a good one in the world at large.  I came out of the midnight showing of Dark Knight Rising with my father this morning only to hear about the events in Denver, the tragic, awful shooting that cost the lives of 12 and injured 59, I believe it is, at last count.  I'm just devastated.  All those people lost or injured or permanently scarred by the trauma they witnessed and experienced.  Young people mostly, still in love with their heroes, on dates or hanging with friends, having fun, or older people wanting to feel young again.  Killed by a young man with no particular religious or political reason for doing so (that has come out so far at least), just a pure evil psycho who decided to kill a bunch of people. This is indeed a tragedy.

And today the husband of a friend of mine underwent surgery to remove a brain tumor.  Praise God the surgery went well, they were able to remove 70-90% of it and they say it is between a stage 2-3 sized tumor, which means not lethal yet.  More will be known when the pathology report comes in.  In the meantime,  I am so many of her other friends will be doing what he have been doing since we heard about this last week--praying, praying, praying.

I've had many brutal conversations on FB recently, sparked by the OD death of Sylvester Stallone's son, that I lack compassion, that I am un-Christian, that I don't know what it is like because I haven't been there, because I spoke out quite vehemently about my total and utter lack of sympathy for drug abusers and other people who CHOOSE and ALLOW their addictions to overtake their lives and wreak havoc on those around them.  How their deaths are not tragic, but a result of their choices.  How we need to feel compassion for the victims, not the victimizers.  I have to tell you, I should have let it go, but that dogged Aspie brain won't let me, and it has left me very unsettled.

Now I do believe that the power of the Holy Spirit is strong enough, forgiving enough, and loving enough to forgive even the worst of us--if I didn't believe that, then I wouldn't have my faith--BUT at the end of the day we have to choose to repent and accept that love and forgiveness, and sadly, I have come to the conclusion that many won't.  I pray that they will choose repentance at the moment of judgment, and I can't know what will happen.  But  we have to accept that these truly evil people are going to remain truly evil.  And there ARE truly evil people in this world.  It does no good to pretend that if we just treated people nicer everyone would be nice back and we'd all live in a happy utopia.  The Aurora shooting is only one example that that idea doesn't, and never has, worked, because evil is EVIL.

So, I think of this argument I have been having, and I think of it in light of the shooting in Aurora.  Of brain tumors, of the many fighting diabetes and cancer and grave illnesses. I think of shooting victims and rape victims and people torn apart by violence.

And here I draw the line and make my stand.  I do not care, at all, what circumstances caused you to follow a path of destruction.  I have compassion if you came from a hard background but in no way does that give you any justification or excuse to follow destructive and/or violent and evil behavior.  If you do this, I will pray for your soul, but I don't have any sympathy for you.  Not a drop.  Now if you work to escape, to get clean, to stop acting in violence, then you have my utmost respect and support.  But not if you are one of the many who simply do it because they want to and don't care about anyone else.

And to the victims of both fate and the hands of other people, for you my well of compassion and my prayers well endlessly.  Know we have a God that will be there, even at the darkest of times.  And if you don't believe me, just ask him.  He'll tell you Himself.

God bless you all,

EA

God bless the USA

Tomorrow is the Fourth of July.  Tomorrow we celebrate the signing of the Declaration of Independence (and yes, I know it actually took months, but work with me here), and the birth of the United States of America as a sovereign nation.

I present for you here the song Is Anybody there from 1776, a movie which never fails to move me, and a song which never fails to stir my soul.

John Adams, I see what what you saw.  Despite the many, many mistakes and wrong turns America has made during the last 50 years and especially the last 4 that have brought us back to almost the same state you fought against over 230 years ago, I STILL see what you see.  I still have a love for  my country and a belief in what she was once and can be again burning in my heart.  And believe me, as best as I am able, being neither eloquent nor charismatic,  politician nor journalist, I will still fight for this country we both love.  You spoke in your letters of commitment.  I promise you, I am committed.

And shame, SHAME on our politicians for caring more about reelections and spinning the media and campaign money then they do about the citizens they represent and the ideals that formed this country.  FIE on them for forgetting true patriotism, true selflessness.  Our Founding fathers, though surely there was disagreement and acrimony and backstabbing, never, NEVER lost sight of the fact that their goal was to nurture and protect the cause of freedom and liberty in this country, freshly created, unique in all of history.  History should teach us lessons.  I say to all elected officials, it is time to start learning.

So the Erudite Aspie is going to take a few days off to celebrate the birth of the greatest nation on earth. And before I go, please listen to our national anthem.  And if you get teary eyed, well, so do I.  Every single time.

Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro' the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watch'd, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

God bless you all, and God bless the USA.

EA

Open question for Aspies, and employers

As an Aspie, is it a good idea to mention that you have Asperger's during a job interview?  

The cons, of course, are obvious, especially in this job market.  The pros, though, are that if you don't, and you end up in a situation that pushes your Aspie buttons, how can you get out of it?  

What, WHAT is the best thing to do?  Anyone who employs people, what is your advice?

I admit here and I now that I just don't know.  I don't have a clue.  And as it is a rather pertinent issue, well, please discuss and comment and elucidate!  If commenting here gives you fits (I HATE captchas), please comment on FB or Google+.

And maybe we will, working together, find the answer.  

Cheers!

EA

Autism and bogus science

OK, one of the things that most annoys me in this world is crappy science that is then used to scare people or deliberately mislead them. Intelligent design is bogus.  You do not have thyroid problems because of a lack of iodine in your diet unless you live in a third world country.  Anthropogenic global warming is not  happening.

And MMR does NOT cause autism.

I have been seeing 'don't give your child vaccines because it can cause autism' crap on FB again, and frankly, this is the sort of things that pushes my very personal and unique Aspie buttons and leaves me just enraged.  I despise, hate, abhor bad science.  Thank you, Jenny McCarthy.  And to my friends who posted this and may believe it, well, I do the research and call it as I see it.

Let's all take a step back from panic land for a second and look at the root causes of Autism.  I wrote this post about the genetic cause of Autism last year.  A quick search on the same topic showed this fascinating news from April of this year about the discovery of a gene mutation that seems to cause autism.  I'll reiterate and reemphasize:  You are BORN with this.  It CAN'T be cured.  It is NOT a chemical imbalance.  Moms and dads, you are NOT RESPONSIBLE for your kid having autism.

It is true that there seem to be some environmental factors to autism, but none of them are the ones we hear about.  This article, while being honest enough to say that environmental triggers weren't specifically studied, nonetheless mentions some of the ones that have long been understood.  The age of the parent--older parents do have a higher tendency to have autistic children.  Multiple births, low birth weight, any medications the mother takes while pregnant.  In other words, all environmental factors that happen while the child is in embryo.  Not vaccines.

Yes, some kids have bad reactions to some vaccines (though the vast, vast majority don't).  We've heard the horror stories.  It's awful, it is sad, but it isn't why your child is autistic.  And for those who say that their child was fine until after his vaccines when he was two or three?  Well, please note this list of child development benchmarks for age 2.  You'll notice that the areas that are affected by Autism don't even become apparent until the child is at least that age.  Before then, you would never notice.

Don't believe me yet?  Try this 2011 article.  Or this.

But more importantly, think about it logically.  We see that autism is a genetic disorder.  Ergo, it isn't chemical in nature.  Ergo again, nothing you do can change that.  And in fact MMR DID cause autism, wouldn't pretty much every child in the civilized world have it?

To conclude this vehement, link filled, and perhaps a bit disjointed post, I just want to warn parents to actually look at the good science underneath the shock science.  To know that the studies you see sprawled over the newspapers and the main stream media are almost never accurate, and are cherry picked to scare (and, shock, bring in viewers, readers, thus money).  More importantly, this sort of things feeds on the basic nature of a caring, nurturing mother plagued with guilt because they think they might have done something to cause their child to be autistic.  And to take advantage of the emotional state of truly wonderful mothers--I have an aunt with an autistic child who is a perfect example of this--really, truly bugs me.  It isn't fair to make these parents feel worse because you might sell one more book or get one more big advertiser for the 5:00 news slot.

Again, parents, you are NOT to blame.  And God bless all parents of Autistic kids and special needs kids in general for the great and good work that you do.

Upcoming topics

I am writing a quick coming attractions post not only to let you marvelous people know what is coming in the next week or so, but also so you can all hold me accountable for actually doing the research and writing.  :)

• MMR does NOT cause autism.  Period.  Full stop.  The end.
• Shoddy science and political/financial gain when it comes to autism
• How to talk about Asperger's to others. Without being, well, too much an Aspie.

This is all I can think of for now, but as always, put topic suggestions in the comments below.  Or, since the captcha thing is a pain in the butt, comment on my FB wall.  If you aren't FB friends with me, why not?  Add me now. 

Cheers,

EA